I was running. Fast. Impossibly fast. The electricity running through my body- blowing through my hair, caressing my face, tickling my arms, crawling down my stomach, enveloping my thighs… My legs were alive. I was alive.
As I breathed past the city into the woods, I felt this surge of relief. I felt free. The twigs breaking under my feet, the trees shaking, the aroma of the wild and free wind made me feel home. I ran towards the cliff as the moon shining above me awaited my next move. The river always felt soothing. I slowed down as I approached the top of the cliff. Just barely. And then I turned my back to the abyss, opened my arms and fell into the great oblivion. Oblivion didn’t seem bad. No one pretended to know you. My fall seemed like a swan’s dive. Graceful. I penetrated through the cold river, it embraced me. As I weighed down deeper and deeper, I felt a sense of tranquility. The world went on pause. All the worlds went on pause. Just for me.
Then I jumped back up as soon as I hit the bottom. I started swimming. Fast. Like there was somewhere I had to reach. Someone I had to reach. It was calling out to me. So I swam. The moon shone on the water, making its own image, smiling and being beautiful. I was totally obsessed with the moon. I thought that the moon was completely and utterly obsessed with itself. It always seemed like my loyal friend, looking over me, laughing and crying with me. So I bore with the ostentation. And swam away as my loyal friend showed me the way.
I entered a lagoon. There stood before me a cave. A colossal cave. I felt cold and warm. How was that possible? It felt like home. I made my way out of the water. Before I entered the cave, I turned around. The view was breathtaking. The shimmering water looked endless. The moon and the stars gave me a sly smile. The wind was warm and smelt delicious. This felt familiar. This felt home. I sighed as I took the feeling in and turned around to enter the unfamiliar.
The cave was cozy and warm. Someone had lit a fire. The air felt welcoming. My fingers touched the walls and the walls seemed to nudge me, happy to find me here. Was this unfamiliar? I couldn’t know. I couldn’t think and I didn’t want to think. So I just went by the fire and stared at it, waiting. Waiting for what? I didn’t know.
Just then, a hand turned me around and his lips were on mine. The softest lips and the sweetest breath. I closed my eyes, instinctively. I was lost and then I forced myself to find my way. I pulled away and saw his eyes, his nose, his lips, his temple, his ears, and his hair. It was him. He was home. I felt weak in the knees. His arms found me. He pulled me closer and smiled. God, that smile should have killed me. But instead, it made me alive. I giggled. He chuckled. Then he cocked his head to one side and whispered, “You beat me again, love.” ¬†And then it hit me. I was not running alone. I didn’t dive alone. I was not swimming alone. He was there. Right behind me. He was always there, behind me. And he always let me beat him. Because he had to watch my back. Because he loved me. And I loved him.
So I kissed him. And he kissed me back. Because he was mine. And I was his. I kissed him with love, and hunger, and want. I breathed him in. I ran my fingers through his hair. His hair was so soft and delicious. Everything about him was delicious. I put my arms around his neck and curled my legs around his waist as he lifted me up. I wanted him. He wanted me. He kissed me and ran his hands all over me, caressing and examining. My fingers aped his. I could feel his heart beating fast through his wet shirt. He smelled like vanilla. I had never felt my senses so heightened. We were playing with electricity. Fire and ice. I couldn’t get enough of him. I felt that he had been my missing part, my lost piece. He didn’t complete me. He evolved me.
Just as we fell endlessly in our kiss, he sighed against my ear, kissed it and whispered,”I. Fucking. Love. You.”
And then the dream ended.
I was in my bed. No electricity running through. No warm, cozy cave. No fire. No familiarity with the darkness. No amazing, hot make out session with my one true love. No soulmate. Just me. And my miserable existence. Are you kidding me?!


Are you kidding me?!